As much as I love Google, I can't help fnd this amusing. One might want to avoid this as a file-size. It's bad for karma.

I like seeing people be creative with things like this.

This is not by any means an original idea, but I think it came out well for 5 minutes in Paint.Net. My boss is a Porsche nut, and he was having me print some banners for use in the local porsche owners club. I also made this as a free bonus for him.

I need give props to my dad for sending this to me on the company dollar. Thanks Encorp (http://www.encorp.com) for letting my dad have email!

Question: What is the truest definition of Globalization?

Answer: Princess Diana's death.

Question: How come?

Answer: An English princess,
with an Egyptian boyfriend,
crashes in a French tunnel,
driving a German car
with a Dutch engine,
driven by a Belgian who was drunk
on Scottish whisky, (check the bottle before you change the spelling)
followed closely by Italian Paparazzi,
on Japanese motorcycles;
treated by an American doctor,
using Brazilian medicines.
This is sent to you by an American,
using Bill Gates's technology,
and you're probably reading this on your computer,
that use Taiwanese chips,
and a Korean monitor,
assembled by Bangladeshi workers
in a Singapore plant,
transported by Indian lorry-drivers,
hijacked by Indonesians,
unloaded by Sicilian longshoremen,
and trucked to you by Mexican illegals.....
That, my friends, is Globalization

The US standard railroad gauge (distance between the rails) is 4 feet 8.5 inches. That's an exceedingly odd number. Why was that gauge used?

Because that's the way they built them in England, and English expatriates built the US Railroads. Why did the English build them like that?

Because the first rail lines were built by the same people who built the pre-railroad tramways, and that's the gauge they used. Why did "they" use that gauge then?

Because the people who built the tramways used the same jigs and tools that they used for building wagons, which used that wheel spacing. Okay!  But why did the wagons have that particular odd wheel spacing?

Well, if they tried to use any other spacing, the wagon wheels would break on some of the old, long distance roads in England, because that's the spacing of the wheel ruts. So who built those old rutted roads?

Imperial Rome built the first long distance roads in Europe (and England) for their legions. The roads have been used ever since. And the ruts in the roads...?

Roman war chariots formed the initial ruts, which everyone else had to match for fear of destroying their wagon wheels. Since the chariots were made for Imperial Rome, they were all alike in the matter of wheel spacing.

The United States standard railroad gauge of 4 feet, 8.5 inches is derived from the original specifications for an Imperial Roman war chariot.  And bureaucracies live forever.  So the next time you are handed a specification and wonder what horse's ass came up with it, you may be exactly right, because the Imperial Roman war chariots were made just wide enough to accommodate the back ends of two war horses.

Now the twist to the story...

When you see a Space Shuttle sitting on its launch pad, there are two big booster rockets attached to the sides of the main fuel tank. These are solid rocket boosters, or SRBs. The SRBs are made by Thiokol at their factory at Utah. The engineers who designed the SRBs would have preferred to make them a bit fatter, but the SRBs had to be shipped by train from the factory to the launch site. The railroad line from the factory happens to run through a tunnel in the mountains. The SRBs had to fit through that tunnel. The tunnel is slightly wider than the railroad track, and the railroad track, as you now know, is about as wide as two horses' behinds.

So, a major Space Shuttle design feature of what is arguably the world's most advanced transportation system was determined over two thousand years ago by the width of a horse's ass.

...and you thought being a HORSE'S ASS wasn't important!

I never really found a good poke at "the other side" during the election, so here it is... Day late, Dollar short, If I'd wanted your opinion I would have asked for it...

Democrats are?
A) Poor
B) Politicians
C) Non-motivated people
D) Believe they are owed something from the rich
E) At least one of the above

Feel free to slander my good name by dropping me an email.

Top Signs you're a programming geek

You use the ISO date format in email conversations with friends ("Let's meet on 2004-11-02").

You think of malformed HTML when you discover a "<" character on the milk carton. 

You believe your memory works like a computer, and you often make references to this ("I had her phone number in my short term memory but it got deleted").

You don't know the name of your new colleague, even though she's been working in the same office for a month (you do know details of the latest java release, though).

Whenever you spill coffee you want to hit ctrl+z.

You think of character encoding issues when you write on paper.

You start counting at 0 instead of 1.

You avoid redundancy when you talk but you enjoy the confusion caused by triple negation.

You won't say "bless you" when someone sneezes – "don't feed the trolls!"

You feel IRC is the perfect place to spend Valentines.

You think FrontPage and WYSIWYG are for sissies.

You had a blog before the word was invented.

You think the vi editor is actually usable.

And the number one sign you are a programming geek:
You think programming jokes are funny.